Totally 80’s Christmas party and a brief retrospective of my bad 80’s hair

80’s Christmas party! Whoo-hoo!

I had a fun time shopping for an 80’s costume. Since the 80’s have somewhat made a comeback in the past few years, it was easy to find fluorescent clothing and jelly bracelets and all kinds of studded accessories at the mall. I even saw bustiers at Forever 21. Are those really ever a viable fashion option?

I tried on some high-waisted shorts but they were far too hideous on me. I couldn’t go that far for the sake of period authenticity in my costume. I ended up with an awesome t-shirt that featured a Pegasus surrounded by clouds and lightning, along with the words “Night Rider”. I actually love it and plan to wear it many more times, 80’s party or no.

"Night Rider" and friends.

“Night Rider” and friends. Check out the awesome 80’s ski suit on the left.

There is always that moment of fear when you decide to go for it and really get into character. As I was teasing up my hair and caking on the purple eyeliner, I did consider how awkward it would be if I walked in the door of the party to find everyone else in regular clothes.

But my friends did not disappoint, everyone went all out.

There was a Risky Business-era Tom Cruise sporting a pink button down and boxer shorts, a few Madonna-esque costumes, more legwarmers than I’ve seen in 20 years and, of course, lots of neon. How can you not have fun when you are wearing neon?

Neon!

Neon!

Another hilarious costume was Cousin Eddie from National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation. By the way, I’m not ashamed to admit–though I probably should be–that “Shitter’s full!” is one of my favorite movie lines. The absurdity and redneckedness of it has always cracked me up. I can’t even venture a guess as to how many times I’ve quoted that line at parties or any other situation I deemed appropriate inappropriate.

Tight-rolled jeans. Timeless.

Tight-rolled jeans. Timeless.

Tight-rolled jeans. Whose ill-conceived idea was this? It was a time-consuming process with a very uneven time spent vs. reward ratio.

Yes, you were able to show off your artfully scrunched socks underneath your jeans. But every time you stood up your pants remained stuck halfway up your calf and puffed out below the knee like some sort of denim golf knicker. You had to sort of nudge them back down your leg with the toe of your shoe. This would sometimes undo the delicate tight-roll, causing the whole process to start over. What a waste of time.

As for the hair, that was a long and fussy process unto itself. It was an era when even men regularly used hair dryers. Barf.

My daughter walked in on me while I was trying out a side ponytail. She just looked at me with a blank stare and then wordlessly walked out of the room, like she was so disgusted that she was at a loss for words.

I didn’t end up going with the side pony due to the poor response in the test market.

But I do happen to have bangs at the moment, so I used them to my 80’s advantage. I curled and fluffed them up as much as I could and sprayed the bejesus out of them with hairspray that I bought specifically for this occasion.

I inhaled so much hairspray in my small, unventilated bathroom that I was coughing for a half hour later. Who knows how much damage I did to my lungs (not to mention the ozone) back in the day due to Aquanet inhalation?

80's partiers

80’s partiers

Everyone at the party seemed to have a lot of fun with their 80’s costumes, and why not? The 80’s were all about “more is more” and “the bigger the better”, especially when it came to hair and shoulder pads. There’s something freeing about being unapologetically flashy and loud.

The fashion of the time didn’t take itself too seriously, neither did the music. And neither did we, seeing as we were just in junior high, unencumbered by responsibility and as of yet lacking the kind of life experiences that would bring seriousness upon us as we aged.

Legwarmers and fishnet

Legwarmers and fishnet

I’d like to thank Caroline for organizing the party and Ashley and Brad for hosting. (Ashley, I would assume that we’re probably past it by now, but I’m still sorry I that bit you in kindergarten. I hardly ever bite anyone anymore. I promise! 🙂 )

To end, I thought it would be appropriate to include some photos of my worst 80’s hairdos. It was a pretty bad decade for me, hair-wise. Please enjoy:

Butt cut and braces

Butt cut and braces

80s_bowlcuts

That’s not a boy in the middle. That’s me. Eek. It looks like whoever cut our hair used the same bowl for all 3 of us.

 

This is the most 80's photo I could find of myself. I love the big lace bow.

This is the most 80’s photo I could find of myself though there were undoubtedly worse days. I love the big lace bow.

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6 thoughts on “Totally 80’s Christmas party and a brief retrospective of my bad 80’s hair

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