“Get up that rope you slimy maggot!”
Just kidding. My trainer hardly ever calls me a maggot. He’s always very polite as he makes me do crazy hard exercises that push my body way harder then I ever would if it was up to me. Left to my own devices I like to jog (err…walk) slowly on the treadmill while simultaneously listening to my iPod, watching at least three out of seven silent T.V. displays, and obsessively checking my phone for texts. (Hello A.D.D.!)
Cory (my trainer) designs workouts that seem to get just a smidge better results than my own aimless efforts.
One of the perks of having a fiancé who owns a coaching business (Endurofit) is that I have access to training at Cooper Sports Performance and Rehab, which far outstrips my ability level. I mean, I did feel slightly inferior “sprinting” in front of the guys that were trying out for the NFL this summer, but I’d like to think that they were probably secretly relieved when they found out that they were not going to have to compete with the likes of me out on the ol’ gridiron.
The muscle-building tasks that we do in our boot camp class crack me up with their no frills effectiveness. A particular favorite is flipping over the
monster truck smallish tractor tire. I feel like I should be hollering, “Hey Bubba, watch what I can do!” every time I attempt this. It’s really hard and leaves bruises on my legs, by the way. Yet it’s somehow so satisfying when I finally flip that tire over. Be honest, you’re a little bit jealous, aren’t you? I’ll bet you’ve never even touched a monster truck tire, much less made one your bitch.
Whenever I push or pull the sled, I always imagine that I am just like Rocky Balboa in Rocky IV–that’s the one where he fights the Russian and trains in The Motherland by climbing mountains and carrying logs and stuff. Check out our side-by-side shots. Kinda’ hard to tell who’s who, right?
Then, sometimes I play the loneliest version of double-dutch ever, with nothing but a metal pole on the other end of the ropes and not a single child to skip in between them .
This next sequence of photos looks like some sort of Fifty-Shades-of-Gray-deviant-sex-contraption (sorry Dad!) and, I assure you, it feels as awkward as it looks. But this is simply TRX Suspension Training. It was invented by a Navy Seal and uses just these two straps and your own body weight to dislocate your pelvis. (kidding again)
I am making jokes here, but I really love my boot camp/redneck survival skills training class. Cory is a great trainer, the facility is well-equipped, and no two sessions are ever the same. It keeps me interested and on my toes. Plus, I am so much stronger than I was when I started. I can climb the rope all the way to the top now. Next thing you know I will be pulling a school bus down the road with my teeth.